Time Travel

3 minute-read • 486 words

If future me walked through a portal and told me, “You can travel to the past ONCE, Veivel, to any point of your choosing in your past, to change the past and consequently your life,” I’d shoot him in the head. Metaphorically. Unless I had a gun, in which case, literally.

I know a lot of people might argue that this is a once-in-a-universe kind of opportunity to do something crazy, to change my life or humanity for the better. I know if I did say yes, there would be a lot of things I’d change and I could write another entire story about that.

As with a lot of people, I live in a lot of sorrowful regret, every once in a while looking back at my past and beating myself up for making the choices I did. Granted, I never always knew the best decisions to make (and that’s life~), but sometimes there were occasions that I recall and I have to wonder if I even tried at all there. Retrospect really is this all-powerful double-edged sword.

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. – Soren Kierkegaard

Nevertheless, why would I reject this opportunity?

I try my best to live with my past – even if it means I have to carry this burden of eternal regret on my shoulder, knowing there are moments of my life that I didn’t cherish or appreciate enough to really live (it’s like someone said: to survive is not the same as to live). So what, then, if I accept the offer to time-travel and change my past?

Nobody is perfect. Period. To change my past would not mean acknowledging that I’m imperfect, but it would imply acknowledging that I cannot live with my past. It would mean chasing perfection. An endless pursuit of an elusive “perfect” life.

If I did choose to change my past, what would happen afterwards? I surely would live the rest of my present life flawlessly. Ultimately I would be more dissatisfied with this new life, because if I couldn’t live with my imperfection the first time, there’s no guarantee I’ll be happy and content the second.

There would be no meaning in redoing everything up to the present moment with perfection if the only reason you managed to do so was because you, and only you, were given that second opportunity to rewind and start all over.

And I think, at the end of the day, that’s all it comes down to – the meaning of life (i hope this does not sound corny). We do things because they give us meaning and purpose. We may strive to achieve perfection for whatever reason and motive we have. But personally, I feel, changing the goalposts and traveling backwards in time to accomplish this unattainable status would have zero meaning to me.

Even for someone who gave a lot of thought to the paths not taken.